names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I am available for nakedness
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
