I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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