The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
