that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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