Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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