She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
