I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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