I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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