I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
