god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize