Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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