I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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