haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
