Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
