My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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