TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your cock deserves a montage
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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