I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
