whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
