I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
