Whats the glycemic index on semen?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize