I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
