This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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