Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wear drunk well.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
