Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You were trust falling into bushes
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
