So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
