ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
