I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
