the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
