3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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