Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
