Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
PS: I just woke up from my shower
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
