I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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