I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
