Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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