Can Purell be used as lube?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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