I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
