My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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