I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
farters have to be the big spoon...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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