sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize