Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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