He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We need to get me chipped asap
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
