he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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