so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
