it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I cockslap morals
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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