I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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