My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
