She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
