is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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