i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
