I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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