HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
