my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
