thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
