What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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