i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize