the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
