So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Randomize
