random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Your shirt... Was in my pants
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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