Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i already hear my dad disowning me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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