One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
