Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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